One thing that I didn’t really think about or expect is that motherhood—at least at this stage—comes with many quiet moments. I’ve spent more time sitting under the big red bud tree in our backyard doing nothing more than looking at the leaves and watching baby L take everything in. She particularly enjoys feeling and pulling up the grass and watching the trees move in the wind. And I have to say that I am loving how it feels to rediscover the art of doing nothing.
Before baby, I felt like I had to intentionally carve out time to stop, sit, and be present (or stop, sit, and read a book). But now, those moments of doing nothing other than being are part of the very fabric of my day. The 6-8 times a day that I nurse L, that’s all we’re doing. Sometimes there’s music on or sometimes NPR is on in the background*, but mostly I just enjoy the time to be with the baby and my thoughts. Sure, some of those moments are short because our now 5 month old is intensely curious about everything and can hardly stand to be still long enough to have a full feeding (There are lights to look at! Ooh, there’s the ceiling fan! What’s that out the window! Did I just hear a noise? I want to grab at momma’s face!) but they are moments of pause that are grounding me in my days.
Baby-rearing is a lot of work, but I’m learning to enjoy the rhythm of it, for which I am grateful. And having the time to sit and think** and be is helping me to realize how extraordinarily fortunate I am to get to spend my days with a healthy and funny baby who squeals, squirms, kicks, rolls, and is learning to sit up all on her own.
Hooray for life post-colic!
*We are a decidedly no-tv household during the day during the week. Growing up, I hated that the tv was regularly on in the background (probably because it was mostly Sports Center!) so I’m very intentional about living without that background noise. And I want to avoid the visual distraction for L as long as I possibly can.
**The sitting and thinking is turning out to be great for giving me dedicated time to think through story ideas for work, which is obviously super helpful
7 Comments
oh, the sitting! the quiet! as it turns out, i am not as good as doing as MUCH of it as has been required over the last five weeks, and it is teaching me some things about patience
but yes! slowly but surely, i feel myself making peace with it as i do a better job turning off the voice in my head that tells me what “productive” thing i SHOULD be doing, and, instead, enjoying every second of watching my baby boy’s little nose, little hands, little mouth (the list goes on and on…and on…!).
I think because L was so (darn) fussy for the first three months, there wasn’t much quiet sitting for any of us. So this now seems like a pretty sudden gift! But yes, there are definitely lessons to learn in the art of practicing patience—it’s harder than it should be:)
What a beautiful, thoughtful post. I applaud your effort to keep the background noise down. I too hated that the TV was always on in the background. We intentionally watch pre-recorded shows or movies and otherwise it’s off. And, what a gorgeous baby! I’m glad I had a chance to read your post (through Josh).
Thanks so much Max- and I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one who has strong feelings about having the tv off!
I couldn’t agree more on all. Funny how babies make you busier, yet somehow still teach you how to slow down. Nice post, Amy!
Thanks Berit- and very true!
I look forward to this part!